Morning Reflection

A quiet morning.
Coffee is hot.
And good.
Kids are gone.
Lighting is low.
The refrigerator is running.
Every once in a while I can hear a bird outside.
God is good.

My life has been an interesting one. Since I don't know how long I have left, I won't boast about tomorrow, but if it is half as interesting as yesterday then I am in for an adventure. Adventures are always good things, right?

This morning I was reflecting on my life, the places I've been, the people I've met, the things I have lived. I found myself scrolling through my friends list on Facebook and mentally putting each person into his proper place in my personal timeline. I love people. I really do. I confess that sometimes I have hated people, and that was wrong. Usually it was because of some perceived wrong that they had done against me. Sometimes forgiveness takes time. All times forgiveness takes grace. (Thank God for his grace.)  Some people I have disliked. Some people make me cringe. All people I love, not just because Christ told me to, but because the flaws I see in them I see in myself, and I see that if I wish to be loved in spite of my flaws I must be willing to do the same. I love them because I love me and of all things in this life I must have, indeed cannot live without, it is a love that transcends these flaws and loves anyway.

That is God's love.

What would the world be without grace?

My early life was filled with King James Bible. I have memorized so much King James that I couldn't even begin to tell you how much of it I know. That's not a boast, memorization comes easily to me. There are some parts of the King James that I know, not because I've ever sat down and tried to memorize them, but because I'm simply so familiar with them that I know them. No matter what happens to me in daily life, there is a Bible verse that will jump out at me in my head that fits, and it is always King James. So as I was reflecting this morning on my life this verse kept jumping out at me.

The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. (Jeremiah 31:3, KJV)

God has been drawing me to himself my whole life, and most of the time I was not even aware of it. Through my sin, my ignorance, my unbelief, my mustard seed, flawed faith, God has been faithful to me. He has loved me with an everlasting love. And he has been drawing me closer to him through every event of my life.

I had to look up my verse in my new adopted translation, the ESV, and found that, though it was worded a bit differently, in context it conveyed the same idea. 

"At that time, declares the LORD, I will be the God of all the clans of Israel, and they shall be my people." 
Thus says the LORD:
"The people who survived the sword
found grace in the wilderness;
when Israel sought for rest, 
the LORD appeared to him from far away.
I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.
(Jeremiah 31:1-3, ESV)

God loves me in spite of me. God has been faithful to me in spite of me. I remember when I was about 8 or 9 years old thinking to myself, Who could ever believe this crazy God stuff? I can remember times when I decided to take the reins in my own hands and do what I wanted in spite of what God thought or wanted. I can remember thinking This isn't right followed up by I don't care, I'm doing it anyway. I can remember more than once being angry, bitter, disillusioned with God. I remember once going years being angry with God, knowing how stupid that was, and not caring how stupid that was. I once wrote this poem:

Jonah and I, we do well we believe

To be angry with God (How dumb is that?)

And forgetting all the good we receive

We sit and we sulk as though we're deceived

Thinking that maybe we're right and God's wrong

And griping because our dear gourd has gone

Underneath which so long we had sat.

Thank God that He suffers fools for so long!

I wrote the poem thinking, I know how Jonah felt. I am Jonah. Yet even that thought did not turn me.

But God's love did.

God has been very patient with me. I am a vessel that he has fitted, indeed is still fitting, for his purposes. And his purposes are glorious.

I have a feeling you who read this are not that different from me.